like a fever that just won't break.

Title: Beauty I
Genre: gen, stream of consciousness
Characters: Dean (POV), the Impala, Sam
Word Count: ~3700
Rating: thematic R
Warnings: because the fic itself is gen, warning for brief m/m insinuations; trigger warning for extensive imagination of suicide
Summary: What to do when you might be beyond salvage, and how to tell your brother.
Notes: 10x05 "Fan Fiction" tag, slightly inflected with 3x10 "Dream a Little Dream of Me" and 10x07 "Girls, Girls, Girls." It also fills my spnspiration bingo squares for "future tense" and "non-linearity." Serves as prequel to Beauty II, which is a short 10x06 tag.

What Dean imagines vibrantly before him takes the form of engine oil and brand new gaskets, pumping steel and bright red, arterial wires. For a moment, Dean loses himself to a fantasy of cotter pins and bearing cups. He wants, he realizes. He really wants.

Title: Psychological Diagnostic Battery of Dean Winchester
Author: pirrofarfalla@Tumblr
Genre: meta; fic, of sorts
Character: Dean
Rating: SFW
Warnings: discussion concerning mental illness, specifically depression, alcohol use, and suicidal ideation
Summary: I wrote this essay for a Master’s level Diagnosis and Assessment class. It is an objective, complete psychological diagnostic battery that would be completed for any client seeking professional mental health aid.

Reccer's Comments: An interesting read for many hoodietimers, I'm sure. :) The part I was most interested in was the excision of any overt mentions of the supernatural in the exam, or as the author puts it, "I think the striking reality of Dean’s situation with the focus solely being on him and not the intervention of Heaven and Hell is enough to provide a broader understanding of who Dean Winchester is as a human, rather than [solely] as the Righteous Man." The battery goes from pre-series midway or so through S2. God, imagine what it would say now.

Throwback Thursday time! :D I've chosen a single scene from 7x05 "Shut Up, Dr. Phil," not because it's the only Dean H/C scene (there's a lot of drinking and interpersonal drama in this episode, and also.. bees?) but because it's one of my favorites, and the first Winchester scene in 9x03 this past Tuesday made me recall it fondly.

The emotional repercussions of killing Amy/betraying Sam make themselves increasingly known, and contrast with Sam's buoyant response to… I'm actually not sure. Shit going down and managing to survive it, period. XP



I reference S9 in one sentence under the cut, though the reference is so general that if you know that SPN does, in fact, have an S9, you won't be spoiled.

( A closer look. )

Got an episode or scene you'd like to throw back to? Let me know! Right now I'm kind of thinking of selecting a few "forgotten Dean H/C moments" out of some S4 episodes, like the near-hanging in 4x12 "Criss Angel is a Douchebag," the concussed!Dean scene in 4x15 "Death Takes a Holiday," and hmm I've always been fond of unconsciously-lying-on-a-coffee-table Dean in 4x04 "Metamorphosis."

If there's anything you'd like to see in these Throwbacks--more commentary, less commentary, Throwback-related fic/art recs, more clips, longer/shorter clips, whatever--just let me know! Always happy to oblige. :)

Autumn is imminent in the northern hemisphere! Which means Halloween is imminent! Sort of… In any case, here are a collection of six dark/horror recs to tide you over until the S9 premiere on 8 October, and the hopefully spooky times to follow. Three of these deal with Purgatory, two with Hell, and the first with… many different horrors. ;)

All of these fanworks were chosen for their distinct sense of style, uncompromising attention to the details and emotions that perpetuate horror, and their incisiveness as regards Dean and those around him:

01. Title: a consummation devoutly to be wished [the el to be jazz remix]
Author: losttheirbones
Tags: alcoholism, fire, jail/prison, substance abuse (alcohol), supernatural powers, hallucinations, sexual abuse (non-con)
Characters: Dean, Sam, Kubrick, Castiel, Gordon, Ben, Lisa, Crowley, John, Mary, Victor, Rufus.
Genre/pairing: Dean/Sam. Dean/Kubrick. Dean/Castiel.
Rating: NC-17
Word-count: 9,894
Spoilers: N/A
Warnings: rape. murder. abuse of haiku.
Summary: stop. breathe. hold back the fire. your name is dean winchester. you are alone in the world. breathe. clutch the bottle tighter. the only company you have is the hallucination of your dead brother. the fire is coming -- STOP.
Reccer’s comments: I adore the macabre twist to a canon that is already, arguably, fairly macabre and twisted. The haiku were a touch of brilliance, too--my favorite was the one with the line about mangoes (confused as to why there are mangoes? read on!). Beautifully and uncompromisingly written--I love the tone that's evoked here, and carried through to the very last line.

02. Title: it had to be you
Artist: badbastion
Tags: blood, hell/post-hell issues, torture
Characters: Alastair, Dean
Genre/pairing: Alastair/Dean, horror
Type/medium: digital
Rating: NSFW for graphic gore
Spoilers: N/A
Warnings: gore/guro, blood, body horror, violence, torture, disturbing imagery, evisceration, discordant slow dancing, guts
Description: The first time Alastair saw Dean Winchester on his rack, he was already drenched with blood and sweat, and the smell of singed flesh hung around him. Dean sneered at him, the gesture pointless, brave, cocky, beautiful through his busted lip and bloody teeth. As Alastair strolled toward him, he realized he’d been humming something under his breath since he'd first walked in. Some of the bravado went out of Dean's sneer at hearing it, and Alastair’s smile widened. For nobody else gave me a thrill, he sang, and with all your faults, I love you still, he sang, and he shoved his narrow hand deep into Dean’s mouth and cracked the hinges of Dean’s jaw, obliterating his lovely mouth.

It had to be you, he crooned, and just like that, it was their song.
Reccer’s comments: The colors are perfect--I love the cool tones Alistair's shirt adds to the warmer shades of the rest. And all that intestinal detail! I feel odd saying that, haha, but it's true.

03. Title: Dean/Purgatory Teaser
Vidder: volta1228
Tags: purgatory/post-purgatory issues
Characters: Dean
Genre/pairing: gen, horror
Type/medium: video/digital imaging
Rating: NSFW for graphic goe
Spoilers: Nothing past the end of 7x23, really.
Warnings: N/A
Description: Because Purgatory Dean is one BAMF... Mock teaser for Supernatural's Dean/Purgatory storyline in season 8.
Reccer’s comments: This is such a treat. I really like how this vid works with typography. And the additional animation in the middle segment is just sublime. I adore how this vid folds minute visual/aural references back to earlier seasons even it's constructed around Purgatory.

( 3 more fics behind the cut - hell/post hell issues, anesthesia awareness, purgatory/post-purgatory issues, soul injury, torture, torturer!Dean )

Don't see you favorite? Tell us all about it! Reccing is 100% open to all comm members, so let us know what you're in love with these days. The more, the merrier! :D

I was just perusing the addiction tag here, because a girl has needs, and I really wanted to share with you guys two fics you might have missed (as I did) that I really enjoyed!

1. Title: Addiction
Author: tarotgal
Characters: Dean, Sam
Genre/pairing: curtain!fic (though the curtains are not the object of interest here), post-series, Dean/Sam
Rating: R
Word-count: ~1000
Spoilers: N/A
Warnings: Alcoholism, addiction
Summary: Dean and Sam have settled down, but Dean’s got more than just a simple life in the ‘burbs.
Reccer's Notes: This is a short, beautiful little coda that takes Dean through post-series life, going to AA meetings, and finding different avenues into which to channel his focus. There's something extremely life-affirming about this, and Dean's outlook here, stripped of denial and subterfuge and fatalism, breaks my heart in all the best ways.

2. Title: Subterranean Homesick Blues
Author: break_kitkat
Characters: Dean, Sam
Genre/pairing: gen, brief mention of Dean/OFC
Rating: R
Word-count: ~2200
Spoilers: N/A
Warnings: Drug addiction, drug use, drug withdrawal, flashbacks, panic attacks, PTSD, self-harm.
Summary: A series of tiny heart attacks.
Reccer's Notes: This fic takes place shortly after Dean is raised from Hell; he's gone so far as to get himself from anti-anxiety medication (kept well away from Sam's attentions), but falls short of actually having a dosage, or prescription. Pair that with life on the road and and burying himself under anything he thinks will help, we watch trauma spiral into addiction into desperation into the slow dissipation of care and judgment. Sam picks up the pieces.