hoodie_time | Entries tagged with self-harm

ever-dimming.livejournal.com

Like previos episodes, this one has shifting POV's that include Dean's. A reminder: this is a Sam-centric fic, but it definitely dives into Dean's internal struggle as he deals with his own trauma.

Title: Away from These Shores (11/?)
Author:

ever_dimming
Genre: Gen
Summary: A simple hunt leaves Sam in an altered state no one seems able to explain – at first. Pulling him out of it is not nearly as easy as it should be, especially since Dean is dealing with his own trauma(s).
Triggers / warnings for this episode: Past suicidal ideation (and then some) in one paragraph; Dissociation (mostly not Dean's, for now); post-trauma, flashbacks, past violence & torture in hell and the Cage; quick reference the Winchesters' painful upbringing.
Spoilers: The fic is standalone, but refers to the plot up to and including 8X01 here and there.
Disclaimer: Supernatural, its characters, plot lines etc. belong to their awesome creators. I am merely suggesting fun new ways in which those beloved characters could suffer and/or be comforted.

He remembers his father’s arm around his shoulder, his eyes dark and worried, his voice doing that thing it did whenever he was feeling too much and decided to feel nothing at all. I know you miss him, but you can’t fall apart on me like that, we’ve got a job to do.

He remembers trying.

ever-dimming.livejournal.com

*A/N: I deleted my own post last year about this WIP while going through a bad bout of anxiety. So, seeing as I've added a few new chapters since then, I thought I'd re-post. I really hope that's okay (and my apologies if I miss any PM's -- I'm apparently a complete moron, because I cannot for the life of me work the LJ inbox anymore. Not sure why).

***
This started out as a Sam-centric fic, and it still is, so fair warning about that; but my fondness for Dean and his struggles snuck in soon enough. So, this fic has caretaker!Dean who is also increasingly revealing and dealing with his own trauma, and we get his POV as well. I think that might be relevant here. The next chapter I'm working on seems to be relatively Dean-heavy, too.

Title: Away from These Shores (10/?)
Author:ever_dimming
Genre: Gen
Summary: A simple hunt leaves Sam in an altered state no one seems able to explain – at first. Pulling him out of it is not nearly as easy as it should be, especially since Dean is dealing with his own trauma(s).
Triggers / warnings: A lot of dissociation (mostly not Dean's, for now); occasional self-harm in later chapters; post-trauma, past violence & torture in hell and the Cage; occasional mentions of the Winchesters' painful upbringing. Some grief, since in this slightly AU Cas did not survive Swan Song, and Bobby & Ellen are around (but Jo is gone).
Spoilers: The fic is standalone, but refers to the plot up to and including 8X01 here and there.
Disclaimer: Supernatural, its characters, plot lines etc. belong to their awesome creators. I am merely suggesting fun new ways in which those beloved characters could suffer and/or be comforted.

on AO3: from the beginning, or latest chpater (10)

frozen_delight

Title: Against the Current
Author:

frozen_delight
Characters: Dean, Sam, Billie (gen)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~ 7600
Warnings: Spoilers for all aired episodes. Mentions of torture, self-harm and suicide.
Summary: Dean has plenty of memories. Just not his own.

Read here: LJ | AO3

astarloa.livejournal.com

Title: A Universe of Moths
Author: Astarloa
Genre: Gen, angst
Characters: Dean, Sam
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: depression, implied suicidal ideation, self-harm, violence, emotional manipulation/abuse
Words: 1,900
Summary: Adjusting to life after Purgatory is more difficult than Dean anticipated. Set in 8x01.

AO3 | LJ

mad-server.livejournal.com

Title: Lonely Like You
Vidder: mad_server
Characters: Dean/Amara, Sam, Castiel, and Mildred from 11.11
Music: Crash and the Boys, "We Hate You Please Die" (from Scott Pilgrim)
Length: 1 minute
Warnings: Self-harm of sorts, some blood, arguably sexual and emotional abuse
Rating: PG-13?
Spoilers: Through 11.11

thruterryseyes.livejournal.com

Title: Moonstar
Author:

thruterryseyes
Genre: Hurt/comfort/horror
Characters: Dean and Sam
Words: 50,000ish
Warnings: Lots of Dean!hurt, a little comfort, graphic violence, no sex (sorry)
Author notes: Everyone has read this, but I was tired of the art. Here's the link anyway or click the picture to see the full size art.
Sorry, there's a lot of tags

http://www.thruterryseyes.com/moonstar.html

gaelicspirit.livejournal.com

Title: The Lost Boy
Fandom: Supernatural
Author: gaelicspirit
Rating: PG-13. Many bad words.
Characters: Dean, Sam and brief appearances by Charlie

Summary: Missing Scene from 10.11, There's No Place Like Home. There's a darkness within each soul. Some repress it, some embrace it, and some balance it. Then there are those who are consumed by it; they are the lost souls.

Current Mood: curious
Current Location: living room
Current Music: Civilian by wye oak

spn-passenger.livejournal.com

Title: Without You (The Tears Dry)
Author:spn_passenger
Artist:kj_svala
Rating:R for depressing, suicidal thoughts, also mentions of self-harm.
Warnings: Depressing, suicidal thoughts, also mentions of self-harm. Set in season 8, spoilers for 9x03.
Word Count:56,088
Summary:Sam makes an unexpected discovery about Dean. He's keeping a secret journal, in shape of series of cassettes, for times he wasn't feeling so well. Maybe he didn’t know Dean as well as he thought he did. But, suicide notes were the last thing on his mind.
Notes: Special thanks to madsthehunter for going over this story and being the best and awesomest beta known in the history of mankind!!! And wow, I'm blown away by the arts kj_svala made for me. I'm so excited overall and it's like tons and tons of virtual cookies for me.

Art MasterPost

Download from mediafire: Without You (The Tears Dry)
Read from: Fanfiction.net| AO3

Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: Mad World

kalliel

Title: he knew you knew what you know
Characters: Dean, Mark of Cain, mentions of Sam
Genre: gen, character study, stream of consciousness
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 657
Summary: There are only two things in the world that know where Dean's at right now--Dean, and the Mark. Only one of them is feeling all that talkative. 9x18 "Meta Fiction" and 9x23 "Do You Believe in Miracles?"
Notes: Just a little ficlet for late S9~

it is God's music my screams are God's music and yours are a round of applause

kalliel

Title: Barn Burning
Genre: gen, hurt/comfort, S7
Characters: Dean (POV), Sam
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~9600 (what is comment!fic???)
Summary: Dean trips on one goddamn tree branch and somehow everything just tailspins. Sam tries his best to weather the storm; Dean... doesn't, really. Takes place between 7x08 "Season Seven, Time for a Wedding" and 7x09 "How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters."
Warnings: depression, suicidal ideation, mental breakdown/psychotic episode, wild defamatory accusations, worst cooking ever
Notes: This fic was finished for a prompt on

hoodie_time about Dean's broken leg, and its subsequent complications. Because we all know that persisted for more than fifteen minutes worth of episode! XP The prompter asked for gen and pain and mobility issues and snark, to which I added S7 levels of psychological overload, because we also all know that's a scale that wouldn't have been difficult to tip. Additional emotional hurt/exhaustion/caretaker!anger/angst for Sam, too.

( You have to tell someone how bad it really is. )

kenzimone.livejournal.com

Title: Another Barrier (AO3/ff.net)
Author:

kenzimone
Characters: Dean, Sam
Genre/pairing: Drama, angst
Rating: PG-13
Word-count: ~4,000
Spoilers: None
Warnings: OCD, implied self-harm (Dermatillomania/CSP - may be triggering)
Summary: Sam doesn't notice it right away. He probably should have. (Written for this prompt on a really old h/c comment meme).
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

kalliel

Title: Instructions
Genre: gen, lowkey horror-H/C-fabulism
Characters: Dean and himself; Mary, sort of; Sam, sort of
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1350
Summary: Dean, caught in a maelstrom. A list of instructions on how to get through the night. 9x18 "Meta Fiction" tag.
Notes: Written for

juppschmitz's prompt at the Dean-centric S9 comment!meme.

1. Find the norco on the table. Use as directed. In the absence of direction--e.g. if you've found it on the kitchen table and its owner, that is, the name on the bottle, that is, the owner of the fake name on the bottle, is nowhere to be found--improvise.

biketest.livejournal.com

Title: Ain't it Good to be Alive?
Author: sirendean
Tags: self-harm, mutism, hell/post-hell issues, ptsd
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby, Alastair
Genre/pairing: gen
Rating: teen
Word-count: 1542
Warnings: self-harm
Summary: Dean rakes his hand over his face, smearing it with blood. He smells the iron and familiarity washes over him, and his mouth twitches into a weak smile.
Reccer’s comments: A great fic in which Dean has stopped talking post-Hell. It is so well written and vivid, and Dean's memories of life before and directly after the fire are especially painful.

Title: Leave a Bad Taste in Your Mouth
Author:

transposition73
Tags: daddy issues, injury, emotional pain/hurt
Characters: Dean, John, (Cassie)
Genre/pairing: past Dean/Cassie
Rating: R
Word-count: 1002
Summary: Post-hunt and post-Cassie, Dean muses.
Reccer’s comments: I went on a Dean/Cassie fic hunt the other day, and this is one of my favorites. I can't get over what a great Dean voice this is, from all the way back in 2007. It packs such a punch in a very short space. The contrast of Dean going from what things were like with Cassie to being back with John just makes me ache for him.

jj1564.livejournal.com

( You're about to view content that the poster has marked as potentially inappropriate for anyone under the age of 18. )

Current Mood: anxious

brightly-lit.livejournal.com

Title: Kintsugi
Author:

brightly_lit
Rating: PG-13
Genre: gen, intense angst, h/c, emotional h/c, brother feels
Characters: Dean, Sam
Word Count: 4,600
Warnings: language, horrific concepts, mentions of child abuse and torture, PTSD
Summary: Dean needs a new protective sigil tattoo, and he visits the tattoo artist other hunters recommend--the only person in the area who's precise enough for the work. Getting two words in a row out of the guy is hard labor, but undeniably worth it in the end.

Kintsugi is a Japanese method of mending broken pottery with gold, where the pot is considered more beautiful for having been broken.

READ HERE.

earth-dragon.livejournal.com

Title: Dean's Resume
Author:

earth_dragon
Characters: Dean Winchester, a tiny bit of Sam Winchester and Cas
Genre/pairing: N/A
Rating: NC 17
Word-count: 1365
Spoilers: Spoilers for season 9, particularly for "First Born". I assume the reader had knowledge of the Mark of Cain, at least in context of the show.
Warnings: Suicidal ideation, Suicide attempts, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Dean's Non-Existent Self Esteem.
Summary: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be immortal? To not be able to die? Not even if you wanted to?
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the poem "Resume", which was a large part of the inspiration for this work.

'Resume'

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp;
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Dorothy Parker

( Read more... )

blue-peppa.livejournal.com

Title: Primal Scream
Author: bluehairdontcare
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby, Castiel
Genre/pairing: Angst, H/C, (No slash)
Rating: NC-17
Word-count: 18,000
Warnings: Possible t/w - depression, suicide, drug and alcohol abuse

Summary: How broken are you Dean? After returning from hell and then torturing/being beaten by Alastair, Dean is struggling to cope and it's effecting his relationship with Sam. But his evasiveness will end up putting him in the line of fire when an old friend comes to them with a case involving psychologically vulnerable victims being sent mad with their worst nightmares and traumas - Dean becomes the next victim and finds himself being pushed right to his limit while Sam is left to solve the case alone and to find a way to rekindle his relationship with his brother enough to be able to help him.
Set after On the head of a pin, S4 :)
Disclaimer:Supernatural does not belong to me but original characters do ;)

i-speak-tongue.livejournal.com

TITLE: Like Motes of Dust
AUTHOR:

i_speak_tongue
RATING: PG-13 (swearing)
CHAR: Dean, Cas
GENRE: H/C, Angst
PAIRING: Gen/Profound Bond
WORDS: 2096
SPOILERS: Coda to 9.09, "Holy Terror"
SUMMARY: Dean falls apart, and Cas helps hold him together.

( Dean Winchester is bullets. He is knives. A bolt of lightning. He is a lake you drown in. A grenade that goes off in your hand. It’s only a matter of time. )

(Also... this post is being haunted by the pairing:dean/other tag. I keep deleting it, and it keeps coming back. Weirdness. But yeah. no pairing. Except Dean/Cas, if that's what you want to see ; )

cymbalism219.livejournal.com

Title: Even If It Kills Me
Author:

cymbalism219
Read by: ehonauta
Pairing(s): Dean/Cas
Rating: R
Spoilers: Goes AU somewhere after Sam has his soul back but before “The Man Who Would be King.”
Warnings: Brief self harm, hurt/comfort, happy ending guarantee
Length: 45 minutes
Disclaimer: Fic is for fun, not for profit. Supernatural belongs to CW and Kripke and crew.

Summary: Dean has cuts that won’t heal and bruises that won’t fade, and he’s getting worse. But Heaven's at war and there are people dying in Iowa and Dean’s not fucking dying anytime soon, thank you very much. Except the part where it really seems like he is.

Link to podfic on AO3 Even If It Kills Me

kalliel

I was just perusing the addiction tag here, because a girl has needs, and I really wanted to share with you guys two fics you might have missed (as I did) that I really enjoyed!

1. Title: Addiction
Author:

tarotgal
Characters: Dean, Sam
Genre/pairing: curtain!fic (though the curtains are not the object of interest here), post-series, Dean/Sam
Rating: R
Word-count: ~1000
Spoilers: N/A
Warnings: Alcoholism, addiction
Summary: Dean and Sam have settled down, but Dean’s got more than just a simple life in the ‘burbs.
Reccer's Notes: This is a short, beautiful little coda that takes Dean through post-series life, going to AA meetings, and finding different avenues into which to channel his focus. There's something extremely life-affirming about this, and Dean's outlook here, stripped of denial and subterfuge and fatalism, breaks my heart in all the best ways.

2. Title: Subterranean Homesick Blues
Author:

break_kitkat
Characters: Dean, Sam
Genre/pairing: gen, brief mention of Dean/OFC
Rating: R
Word-count: ~2200
Spoilers: N/A
Warnings: Drug addiction, drug use, drug withdrawal, flashbacks, panic attacks, PTSD, self-harm.
Summary: A series of tiny heart attacks.
Reccer's Notes: This fic takes place shortly after Dean is raised from Hell; he's gone so far as to get himself from anti-anxiety medication (kept well away from Sam's attentions), but falls short of actually having a dosage, or prescription. Pair that with life on the road and and burying himself under anything he thinks will help, we watch trauma spiral into addiction into desperation into the slow dissipation of care and judgment. Sam picks up the pieces.

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Page Summary

ever-dimming.livejournal.com - Away from These Shores (11/?)
ever-dimming.livejournal.com - Away from These Shores (traumatized, caretaker Dean)
frozen_delight - Fic: Against the Current
astarloa.livejournal.com - A Universe of Moths
mad-server.livejournal.com - VID: "Lonely Like You"
thruterryseyes.livejournal.com - Artpost: New cover art for Moonstar
gaelicspirit.livejournal.com - The Lost Boy, PG-13, 1/1, Dean, Sam, Missing Scene
spn-passenger.livejournal.com - Fic: Without You (The Tears Dry) , Rating: R, Dean, Sam, gen
kalliel - [Fic] he knew you knew what you know - Dean, Mark of Cain, 9x18/9x23
kalliel - [Fic] Barn Burning - Dean (POV), Sam; mid-S7; broken leg/mental breakdown
kenzimone.livejournal.com - Fic: Another Barrier (1/1, Dean, Sam, PG-13, gen)
kalliel - [Fic] Instructions - Dean and himself; Mary, sort of; Sam, sort of; lowkey horror-H/C-fabulism
biketest.livejournal.com - 1 post-hell rec (gen), 1 pre-series rec (dean/cassie)
jj1564.livejournal.com - Separate Lives
brightly-lit.livejournal.com - Fic: Kintsugi
earth-dragon.livejournal.com - (no subject)
blue-peppa.livejournal.com - Fic: Primal Scream (How far can you be pushed Dean?) - [Sam, Dean, NC-17]
i-speak-tongue.livejournal.com - FIC: Like Motes of Dust (gen, pg-13)
cymbalism219.livejournal.com - podfic: even if it kills me
kalliel - Two "Addiction" Fic Recs

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like a fever that just won't break.

tie fire around my heels, send me a-runnin' through the fields.

Entries tagged with self-harm

Away from These Shores (11/?)

Away from These Shores (traumatized, caretaker Dean)

Fic: Against the Current

A Universe of Moths

VID: "Lonely Like You"

Artpost: New cover art for Moonstar

The Lost Boy, PG-13, 1/1, Dean, Sam, Missing Scene

Fic: Without You (The Tears Dry) , Rating: R, Dean, Sam, gen

[Fic] he knew you knew what you know - Dean, Mark of Cain, 9x18/9x23

[Fic] Barn Burning - Dean (POV), Sam; mid-S7; broken leg/mental breakdown

Fic: Another Barrier (1/1, Dean, Sam, PG-13, gen)

[Fic] Instructions - Dean and himself; Mary, sort of; Sam, sort of; lowkey horror-H/C-fabulism

1 post-hell rec (gen), 1 pre-series rec (dean/cassie)

Separate Lives

Fic: Kintsugi

(no subject)

Fic: Primal Scream (How far can you be pushed Dean?) - [Sam, Dean, NC-17]

FIC: Like Motes of Dust (gen, pg-13)

podfic: even if it kills me

Two "Addiction" Fic Recs

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January 2021

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