[Fic] Beauty I - the Impala, Dean, Sam; stream of consciousness; 10x05 tag

[kalliel]

Title: Beauty I
Genre: gen, stream of consciousness
Characters: Dean (POV), the Impala, Sam
Word Count: ~3700
Rating: thematic R
Warnings: because the fic itself is gen, warning for brief m/m insinuations; trigger warning for extensive imagination of suicide
Summary: What to do when you might be beyond salvage, and how to tell your brother.
Notes: 10x05 "Fan Fiction" tag, slightly inflected with 3x10 "Dream a Little Dream of Me" and 10x07 "Girls, Girls, Girls." It also fills my spnspiration bingo squares for "future tense" and "non-linearity." Serves as prequel to Beauty II, which is a short 10x06 tag.

What Dean imagines vibrantly before him takes the form of engine oil and brand new gaskets, pumping steel and bright red, arterial wires. For a moment, Dean loses himself to a fantasy of cotter pins and bearing cups. He wants, he realizes. He really wants.