a handgun, a fast car, a bottle of pills (fic, picspam, and vid recs)

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

I don’t know quite what the theme of this rec post is, (Dean and his defense mechanisms? Dean and his vices? Idk.) but something made me group these fanworks together. Besides them all being awesome, I mean. ;D

Fic:

Title: I Can't Get Enough
Author: apodiopsys
Tags: pain, psychological issues, self-harm (of a sort)
Characters: Dean, Sam
Genre/pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating: NC-17
Word-count: N/A
Spoilers: Through 3x12
Warnings: N/A
Summary: It's not... this thing he has with pain, flirting with danger until he gets hurt, it's not normal.
Reccer’s comments: In which Dean has a kink. This is both super hot and intriguing.

Title: I'm OK, You're OK
Author: de_nugis
Tags: depression, nausea/vomiting, suicidal ideation
Characters: Sam, Dean
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word-count: 1650
Spoilers: through 7x06
Warnings: hints of suicidal tendencies
Summary: “Suicide by angel was bad enough,” says Sam, “Trying to get yourself eaten is just gross.”
Reccer’s comments: This was wonderful, and made me hurt for both Dean and Sam.

Title: the cavern of lost dreams
Author: i_speak_tongue
Tags: abandonment issues, crying!Dean, depression, fever, hospitalization, pneumonia, psychological issues, suicidal ideation
Characters: Dean, Sam
Genre/pairing: Gen, Pre-series/dual timeline, h/c
Rating: PG-13
Word-count: 5364
Spoilers: 7x06
Warnings: Suicidal Ideation
Summary: It's about a dog. It's about two boys and something that they thought was lost forever. It's about admitting limitations. It's about finding hope.
Reccer’s comments: I’m fascinated by where Dean’s headspace is at this point in the show. (Well, I’m always fascinated by where Dean’s headspace is, but yeah.) Anyway, I doubt they'll delve this much into it onscreen, but I very much feel like THIS must be what it’s like for Dean this season, and I love i_speak_tongue for going there. <3

The Sam POV is excellent too, and I really enjoyed the flashbacks to pre-series boys and the way the author tied them into the present day.

Title: The Fourth Time
Author: st_salieri
Tags: hospitalization, overdose, substance abuse (alcohol), suicidal ideation
Characters: Dean, Sam
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Word-count: 2260
Spoilers: Season 6
Warnings: Angst, bad language, discussion of self-harm
Summary: The fourth time Dean woke up changed everything.
Reccer’s comments: I've recced this before, as a guest reccer at sawedoff_recs, but I totally have to rec it here too. This fic gives us a season-6 era Dean who accidentally overdoses. I have a bit of an obsession with Dean’s mystery pills, and I found this look at the subject matter to be brilliant. It avoids being over-the-top, and feels all too true to life. Sam's fear and anger and concern are like a living thing, and Deannnnn. ;_;

Title: zero integrity
Author: stella_down
Tags: alcoholism, drugs (medical), overdose
Characters: Dean, Sam
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Word-count: 1608
Spoilers: through 7x03
Warnings: drugs, OD'ing, gross imagery, unhappiness
Summary: Dean tries washing his painkillers down with a couple of shots of Jack. It doesn't go well.
Reccer’s comments: This is raw and kind of devastating, just so you know. Which I happen to LOVE. An excellent coda to 7x03.

Other (1 vid, 1 picspam):

Title: the green grass of a ditch
Artist/Picspammer: smilla02
Tags: alcoholism, psychological issues, substance abuse (alcohol)
Characters: Dean (but also Sam, Cas, Bobby, Rufus)
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: through the series
Warnings: substance abuse
Summary: Dean & Drinking: an overview.
Reccer’s comments: smilla02’s commentary here is very insightful, and the pics she’s used/altered are beautiful. This is well-worth a look, or ten.

Title: Save Me from Myself
Vidder: eyestoowide
Tags: depression, hell/post-hell issues, psychological issues, substance abuse (alcohol)
Characters: Dean
Genre/pairing: Gen, Character Study, Angst
Rating: PG (rated by reccer)
Spoilers: up to 7x04
Warnings: nothing that hasn’t been seen on the show
Summary: A closer look at Dean's downward spiral into depression and self-destructive behavior. Set to Save Me from Myself, by Vertical Horizon.
Reccer’s comments: I loved this look into Dean’s current state of mind. It expertly shows us both where he is now, and the ways in which he got there.

Comments

[roque-clasique.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, that vid. I rarely watch them all the way through, lose interest very quickly, but this one just GOT ME. I actually cried a little, LOL. I'm still teary!

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

I knowww; it was kind of overwhelming(ly awesome) to see all that trauma laid out in vid form like that. OH DEAN.

[kalliel]

Eee, I totally just read i_speak_tongue's today; it was amazing. And The Fourth Time! I AM STILL SO SMITTEN. Whether new to me or not, all of these are/look and certainly must be amazing. Thank you for putting this together! :)

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

i_speak_tongue's s7-era fics are making my life lately. ♥ And yeah, The Fourth Time is SO GOOD.

[i-speak-tongue.livejournal.com]

You guys! YOU GUYS!

Thank you!

*has a billion tabs open now*

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

Seriously, I keep re-reading your s7 fics; they're basically everything I want from the show. ::hearts-in-eyes::

[kalliel]

I will reiterate. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I NEEDED WHAT YOU SO THOUGHTFULLY (lol) PROVIDED IN NOT ONE BUT TWO STORIES (and assuredly more!). <3333333

[i-speak-tongue.livejournal.com]

Trust when I say I needed it too. NEED it. Can there be a million different universed in which Dean spills his guts in different ways? And can I write about all of them? Better question: Have I no shame?

[kalliel]

Hmmmmmmm, I think this calls for an experiment. One that involves you attempting and us reading. I think that this is an A+ plan, y/y?


:P

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

OH PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE. *_*

I'm currently trying to write a s7 fic ft. Dean and clinical depression. I just... I have a bit of an obsession with that kind of thing currently.

[i-speak-tongue.livejournal.com]

ME TOOOOO! It's so lame though. Right now all it is is dialog between Sam and a psychiatrist, and her basically telling him Dean should be seeing a therapist, like every day, and listing off a bunch of shit I looked up on wikipedia.... lol. It's so redonk!

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha, REALLY? Well, it sounds amaaaazing to me! \o/

Mine isn't going so well, just because I seem unable to focus on writing anything until super-late at night and then I have to go to bed. But I want it so bad. I can't wait to read yours!

[i-speak-tongue.livejournal.com]

PS. I'm sure yours is waaaay better, and I can't wait to read it!

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

Yours will be SO GOOD; I know it.

Mine is a total wish fulfillment fic, a fact which leaves me stuck somewhere between embarrassment and joy!

[i-speak-tongue.livejournal.com]

Hey, so is mine, same issue. Maybe we can just send them to each other if we are too embarrassed to post?

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

Hee, totally. Actually, I was talking to someone else about that the other day.

But yeah, if you ever want to bounce ideas around or whatever, feel free to PM me. I always enjoy talking about Deeeean and his issues. <333

[i-speak-tongue.livejournal.com]

I'll probably take you up on that! Oh, and I was looking over my flist the other day and noticed you were not friended when all this time I thought you just never posted anything or I just missed it somehow. I'm so dumb. This is what happens when I procrastinate hitting buttons.

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

Cool. And aw, well, I don't actually post much of anything because I've found I'm bad at keeping a journal, but I read my fl/comment, so I'm present that way. And am always up for PM/e-mail. ;DD

[salty-catfish.livejournal.com]

lolol I've read most of these but I'm going to devour i_speak_tongue's now.
♥

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

Enjoyyy. <333 I'm loving s7 so much right now, yay.

[smilla02.livejournal.com]

♥! Thank you for the recs and these recs. I need to add to my backlog, obviously. :D

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

♥♥♥

[geckoholic]

The first one hits my buttons so hard, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I've either read or already bookmarked most of the others (funny how writing yourself keeps you from reading *facepalm*), but still, thank youuuuu for these recs. :D Also, the spam and the vid. OH DEAN. Both not new to me either, but damn, so worth being reminded of and looking at again.

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

ME TOO. ;D And yeah, we seem to share a lot of the same h/c loves.

What are you writing right now, btw?

[geckoholic]

WE DO, INDEED! *gg*

Oh, all the things. ;) What I'm currently actually working on, though, would be : SPN Cinema (gen; movie prompt is Se7en; set in S4 and remember when I said in one of the next things I post, I'll be really mean? that's the one), Reversebang (Sam/Dean, set in S7), a Dean/Cas 2014!fic and uh, some things for RambleOn that I want to finish and post even though the deadline's long over. Oh, and SPN X-mas. I... Kinda like having several irons in the fire? *coughs*

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

I like the sound of that first one, ahaha! Well, I like the sound of ALL OF THEM, but yeah. Ooh.

That's quite the list! You are the awesomest. <3

[geckoholic]

If you're interested, I have a filter for peaks and other things related to specific fics, and posted the very beginning on there? Really, only if you'd like. :)

Also, JSYK, one of the RambleOn fics is for you. ;) And I'll get it done eventually. *facepalm*

<3

(Oh man, sorry for all the editing today. Got up with the wrong leg or something.)

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

I would be interested, indeed. Very much so. ;DDD

Also, oh man, that's so exciting! ::sits on hands::

[geckoholic]

Done, here's the entry. :D

Heh, it's so on my list for this month. *gg*

[maypoles.livejournal.com]

Yay! Thank-youuu for adding me to it. ;)

[geckoholic]

♥

[kalliel]

Wait a moment here. WHERE IS THIS FILTER. WHY AM I NOT IN IT. Can I see, too? :DD <3

[geckoholic]

There was a poll to find out who wanted in, and you prolly weren't around when I posted it? BRB, CORRECTING THAT.

ETA: And done. ♥

[kalliel]

Yaaaaaaaaaay!

[geckoholic]

:D