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May. 22nd, 2013 02:44 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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hoodie_timeArtist:
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earth_dragonPairing: Dea/Cas/Sam but really I think of this more as Gen
Spoilers: Talks about the Batcave in roundabout way, so I guess through Season 8, but nothing specific.
Rating: PG.
Warnings: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, 3 Men sharing a bed (but it's really pretty platonic), Mutism.
Summary: Sometimes when everything just gets to be too much, Dean gets quiet.
Notes: Lately I've been thinking on the idea of adult Dean retreating back into mutism, as he did when he was a small child just after Mary died (it's documented in John's journal). This little idea occurred to me and I ran with it. It's just a short psychological study.
Sometimes...
Sometimes when everything just gets to be too much, Dean gets quiet.
He's never been a man of words anyway; that was always Sam's thing. Dean is a man of actions. For him, actions have always spoken louder than words. But he knows that words are viable, necessary for communication and connection. But when Dean gets down, when depression crowds around him like a black cloak and he feels like he has lost his sense of connection, then Dean loses his words too.
It starts slowly, subtly. So subtly that Cas and Sam don't always notice until the quiet becomes full blown silence.
Dean stops singing along to the music in the Impala, but he'll still discuss the pros and cons of the latest model revolver.
He stops talking weapons, but he'll discuss the upcoming thunderstorm.
He no longer cares about the weather, but he'll answer 'pie' when asked if he wants dessert.
Dean will only shake his head no when the waitress comes by, but he'll grunt in the affirmative when new facts turn up about a case.
Sam and Cas finally notice the problem, the quiet, when Dean stops vocalizing altogether; when yes is a nod, no is a shake, and everything else is merely a shrug of heavily weighted shoulders.
Sam and Cas notice the silence.
Words are useless now. Dean's are lost and Cas and Sam know it would be pointless to give words to him; they would just become lost as well. Dean has always been a man of action.
Neither of them are surprised when Dean does not emerge from his room the next morning. The silence from behind the door is deafening, and it will take time to fix but they know they can fix it. So they make pancakes and coffee and pile them onto a breakfast tray and carry it into Dean's room. He may not eat, but they want him to know that it's there for him if he chooses to.
Just as they are.
They don't speak, but they set the tray down on the side table and then crawl into bed, one on either side of Dean. Sam pulls the covers up over all of them and Cas digs his long fingers into the tense muscles of Dean's shoulders.
The three of them lie there for hours in the silence. Sam's arms keep his brother warm while Cas' fingers message away the tension. And slowly, subtly the silence begins to break.
Dean rolls his neck when Cas places a gentle kiss below his ear, but he doesn't hum.
He hums when Sam runs a careful hand through his hair, but he doesn't sigh.
He sighs when both Sam and Cas press closer to him, but he doesn't cry.
Dean cries when finally, finally, the softest words are spoken against his skin: it's okay; we've got you; you're safe; we're here.
We're here.
We love you, Dean. And we're here.
"Okay," Dean whispers back, the first word he's said in two days. His voice is rough, cracked, stretched thin with the tears still tracking down his cheeks. But it's there.
It's there.
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Date: 2013-05-23 02:54 pm (UTC)Plus, Sandwiched Dean is favourtie kink!!!
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Date: 2013-06-06 01:38 am (UTC)Jackie
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Date: 2013-06-06 04:19 am (UTC)